My Child Lies

Honesty is important to most parents, and they get upset when their children lie. Younger kids may not know they are lying and older children lie out of fear; they’re afraid of being punished if they tell the truth.

1. Young children (younger than age 5) don’t really know the difference between truth and lies; they believe that whatever they are saying is true. Begin talking to them around age 5 about the difference between make-believe and reality.
2. Children make mistakes, just like you do. If you have unreasonable expectations, they may lie to you when you don’t live up to them.
3. Don’t set them up to lie. If you know they broke a rule, why ask them, “did you do it?” Just decide on the consequence and follow through; if you’re not sure who broke a rule, all the possible suspects can be required to “do the consequence.”
4. Model good behavior. Does your child hear you call in sick when you really aren’t? They learn more by what you do than what you say.
5. Sometimes you can skip the consequences if a child tells the truth and make telling the truth a positive thing for the child.
6. If lies continue or increase after age 7, there may be serious problems needing professional help.