My Child Says “No” All the Time

Sometimes, it seems like “no” is the only word our child says. They hear it often from us, and sometimes say it when they mean “yes.”

1. For toddlers, saying “no” is a way of expressing independence and a normal – if frustrating – development stage. Keep the rules simple and give the toddler choices when you can; keep saying “no” to a minimum.
2. Instead of asking “Do you want to put your coat on?” ask “Do you want to wear your red coat or your blue sweatshirt?”
3. Children need firm limits about important issues life safety – don’t accept a “no” on an issue like a car seat or holding hands in traffic, children are not allowed to not like the safety rules, but they need to follow them.
4. Remember that it is unreasonable to expect total obedience – do you really want a robot instead of a child?  Give children some control of their lives, especially in things that effect only them, and then praise them when they do cooperate.
5. Let children be angry, disappointed, tearful, or irritable! Encourage them to express their feelings, even unpleasant ones, if they are not hurtful to anyone. Praise or attention for behaving well is much more effective than punishment for misbehavior.