My Children Fight

It’s hard to know when to step in when children are fighting. Parents feel helpless to stop this behavior that can quickly become out of control.

1. Kids are more likely to fight when you compare them to each other, or when they feel bad about themselves in other areas. Don’t compare kids, and work hard to improve their self-esteem. Avoid setting kids up to behave in certain ways; kids are likely to do what you expect, so make sure they know you expect good things.
2. Try to ignore fighting as much as possible. If no one is getting hurt, let kids work out their own solutions. Let them know you have confidence they can work it out.
3. Separate the fighters for a while without determining who started the fight – each child will blame the other and the fight will continue. Protect them from hurting each other!
4. Let kids talk about their feelings; it’s one thing to say they hate their brother and another to hit out of angry feelings.
5. As with many situations, praise for good behavior and modeling what you want from your children will help. Kids need to have conflicts in order to learn how to handle them well.
6. Insist on respect among all family members – a “no name calling rule” which applies to parents and kids – shows respect.